Now that You're Gone
by Axandra Chrystallis
Summary: Chapter 3 is now up, and this time, it's Sylphera's side of the story...how she actually feels as she looked at her mother, who was slowly swallowed by that bright light. sucks xD xD
1. Chapter 1

**A.N:I don't own Buffy, but knowing about the story makes me realize how fun it is to create my own story ^_^ this is my first buffy story…**

Now That You're Gone

I stared out the window, suddenly recalling what has already happened for the past five years. I blanked out and was suddenly inside my head, imagining stuff, lots and lots of stuff; about my destroyed relationship with both Angel and Riley, Giles fired from his job, Tara dying, Willow turning into this witch with a major mojo problem, Xander leaving Anya at the altar, Anya turning into a vengeance demon once again, and…I gulped…_and_ Spike, who sacrificed his life just to save the world from Caleb's attack.

I remained still. _Spike. _Tears begun to roll down my cheeks. I wasn't really sure what I felt for him; if it was actually love, simply lust, or both. He was one of the kindest…wait not kindest, but was the bravest man I have ever met that he would be willing to sacrifice his life to save everyone. Because knowing him and his "Bloody Hell" he wouldn't even give a damn, but as I watched him burn in front of me, our times together flashed in my mind; the times when I felt sad when I was with him, or the time that I feel so angry when he's near me, or the times I felt complete and free whenever I knew he was only near.

"Mommy!" a spunky voice called me back to the real world, so I had to wipe away the tears that rolled down and turned around to face the beaming face of my four year old daughter, Sylphera. "What is it, honey?" I asked when she came over to me and climbed on to my lap.

"Take a look at this." She eagerly said as she unrolled a sheet of paper in front of me. I gasped. On the paper, there were three people: a woman, a child, and a man. "Who are these people?" I asked her, kissing her tawny hair. She turned and said as she pointed each person, first the woman. "This is woman is you," and then she pointed to the little girl. "and then this is me," and then she pointed to the man. "and this is daddy…who I've never really met before." She fell quiet and then began sniffing weakly, so I turned her in my arms and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry for not giving you a daddy, darling. But, you're daddy is…well, he went away."

She looked at me sadly "Why? Does daddy hate us?" I fell quiet, thinking of an answer. I couldn't really say the truth about Spike, _Hey, Sylphie, you're dad's a vampire and his dead, that is why I can't give you a daddy. _I can't say that. That will only make her even more upset. "No, of course not. Sweety, Daddy is…in a very far place, where he is in peace. Don't worry. When there will be a time, we will visit him, okay?" she nodded and said "Okay."

"Buffy?" I heard someone call out. "I'm here, Dawn." I replied back.

"Hey, Buffy," she said while she was still not from view. "Have you seen Sylph—Oh. There you are little girl." Dawn laughed. "Aunt Dawn!" Sylphie gaily said and jumped from my lap and ran to Dawn. Dawn happily picked her up and raised her up and hugged her tight.

I looked at them…no, not looked, stared, and not at them, only Sylphie. There were times that as I looked and look at my little girl, I see a part of Spike in her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember her father. Sylphie had Spike's deep-blue eyes, and her British accent as well, and her brown hear had this unusual yellowish—bleachy color, that of Spike's, obviously not mine cause I have a dark blonde hair, not bleachy like her yellow streaks.

"Buffy!" I jumped back to our world with a startled expression. "What?" I asked Dawn, who had a worried expression on her face as she stared at me. "You spaced out, mommy." Sylphie said warily and came to hug me. I stroked her hair and whispered, "It's okay, honey. I'm…alright. I just remembered, um, things." and then I hugged her tight and burried my face in her hair.

"Buffy…" I heard someone whisper in my head, making me shoot my head up immediately, and turning to see nothing. _What the? _ I muttered to myself. "Buffy…" it said again. High on alert now, I looked back at Dawn. "Dawn, do you hear that?" she looked at me with surprise scrawled on her face. "What are you talking about?"

_So, she doesn't hear it._ I concluded, saying to myself.

_Of course she can't hear it. _The voice…Spike? answered back, and then I was finally in my own world…again, however, I wasn't alone in _my _world anymore. There, under a tree, was a figure who was sitting down on the grass and leaning on the tree, obviously relaxing and feeling the breeze, and that someone happened to be _Spike. _

"Spike?" I breathed, not believing what I was actually looking at.

"Yes, love?" he sighed out, slowly opening his eyes and turning his head to look at me with that smile of his that somehow made my heart flip. "Wh-what're you doing here?" at least I managed to say it with stuttering than saying it with nothing.

He chuckled and then looked at the surroundings around him. "Well, can you not see love? I am here, sitting down, obviously resting and enjoying the afternoon sun, which I'm lying about, and feeling the warm afternoon breeze against me." And then he once again he closed his eyes once the breeze began to blow by, and then he patted the ground next to him and said, eyes still closed, "Sit here, love."

Numbly, I walked towards him. I couldn't—can't resist him. Why is that? It took him only to ask me to sit there, and if we were in the real world, by now, I would be saying 'Go to hell,' to him, but now…no. I immediately follow his every whim like some sick puppy. Ugh! And without me knowing, I was finally sitting beside him.

I slowly turned my head and looked at him. "Spike," I began, but he silenced me with a look and shushed. "Shh, love. No talking. Let's just enjoy the feel of the place." And with that, I knew I was dismissed, so I sat back and relaxed, my gaze still affixed to him, never actually leaving it, because I felt that when I take my eyes off him, he'll suddenly disappear or something, and I didn't want that to happen. I never even got the chance to tell that a few months after he turned to ash, I was pregnant…pregnant with his child; daughter, who was now a grown four year-old little girl.

"What?" he asked out of nowhere. Startled, I looked at him confused. "What 'What?' what did I do?" I saw a corner of his mouth lift and say, "Love, you're staring at me like some lovesick high school brat."

I gaped and punched him lightly on the arm. He rubbed his arm and began to chuckle. "Kidding." He said softly and then opened his eyes and made them rest on me. "So, how've you been? Any new boyfriends that I should know of? Because if they try to hurt you, love, remember this, pray and call me from hell and then I will haunt them for you." He added with a grin.

I smiled with him, but the truth, deep inside, I was actually hurt that the first thing he would ask if I had a new man. When Spike, sent me away to leave him die, I knew that deep inside, I knew that I would never be able to love a man like that again, not even Angel.

"I don't have a new…man, Spike." I retorted casually. He stared at me dumbfounded as if I were just a new born. "Seriously?" he asked, gaping at me. "You, _you, _don't' have a new man? How is that even possible?" he was obviously blabbing. "I mean, huh? A new man? My gosh, love. A _new _man, and _you, _of all people, don't have one?" he looked around us once again, and then back at me. "Are you sure you're telling me the truth, love?"

I glared at him. "Of course I don't!" I all but raised my voice. "Should it be very surprising for me not to have a new man for over five years?" He replied with an expression that strongly said _Well, duh. _Oh my gosh! I can't believe the guy!

"I have to tell you something," is sighed out, looking at him thoughtfully, and that look seemed to catch his attention because I noticed all his focus were now on me. _Well then¸ _I said to myself. _Better tell the truth now… _"Well, Spike you see…" I cleared my throat. Oh, god. _I _can't say it! "Well, um, you see…after that night…well you know, the last time we were together, we, well…Oh, for god's sake, I became pregnant because of that night!" I shouted now.

He stared. "Pregnant?" he whispered. "Yes," I nodded. "However, I only found out after you, you know, turned into ashes." He looked at me with a painfully guilt stricken look. "Who's the father? You're living alone, aren't you? Without the guy who made you pregnant. Tell me his name and I will kill him." He said grimly. I curved my mouth a little, enjoying the sense of protectiveness I woke in him.

"He's gone." I answered back, looking at the sky and feeling the breeze. "What do you mean gone? As in, gone where he left you? Or gone into hiding?" he asked me. I tilted my head which was faced up to him. "Gone, as in…dead." He fell silent with my answer, and I felt him grasp my hand and held it tight in his. "I'm sorry, love. Must have been hard." I nodded in agreement and held his hand back. "Yup, very hard. My daughter has been very sad because I couldn't give her daddy back."

"Oh," he said. "Poor child." And then he suddenly shot up and looked at me. "Hey, love, why don't you tell me what his name is? Maybe I could talk to him in the underworld and tell him the news that your daughter and his daughter is a full grown…how old is she?"

"Four." I replied.

He nodded. "Yes. I'll tell him that his daughter is now a full grown four year old."

I shook my head, chuckling. "Spike, you can't tell him, because I just did." He stared at me stupefied. "What do you mean you just did? You told me that he never knew about his daughter…until now? You just did?" he paused and then looked, now all seemingly confused. "You just did? You mean…"

"Yes," I said with a heavy sigh. "You, Spike. _You're _her father."

He gaped, obviously surprised with the news, but then shook his head. "Impossible, love. _I'm __a vampire,_ _you're _a _human. _Vampires _and _humans aren't supposed to have children. It isn't possible. Love, I can't be the fath—"

"You're calling me a liar?" I snapped at him, angry with his reaction to a news, and that news happened to be him being the father of my daughter. He shrugged, "Well, come on, love. Obviously, there is another man out there who _is_ the father of your…daughter." He paused. "What do you think will you gain by saying that I'm the father of your daughter, Buffy? I was a part of the living dead while I was still alive."

"Meaning?" I asked him, truly upset that he wouldn't go and believe me that my daughter was _his _daughter as well.

He sighed an exasperated sigh, his annoyance clearly showing. "Meaning, as we made love, there is no way that could've made you pregnant. I'm _dead, _Buffy. Get it through your thick head." I glared at him and pointed at his chest. "Well, William, get it through _your _thick head that, believe it or not, you made me pregnant, which came out to be a healthy child."

He stared at me, and then pinched the bridge of his nose, which he used to do when he was still _alive _and well with me. He only pinched the bridge of his nose when he was very annoyed that he couldn't contain the annoying surroundings, and now, _I _was that annoying surrounding.

"Look," he began. "Buffy, tell the real father that he has a daughter, who is alive and well, not me, because I can't, I repeat, I _can't _be the father, but I would be really be happy if I was, but," he shrugged. "even I can't wish that high." He stood up and looked down at me. "Well," he sighed. "I have to go." And with that, he walked away, without even having a backward glance nor peak.

I looked at his figure walking away, which didn't even turn to simply just look at me. _Forget it! _ I screamed to myself and stood up as well…and as well as that, I came out and returned from that…dream.

**A.N: Please review so that I would know if I would continue this story, thanks :))**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: So far, the reviews I've received are all statements that I continue the next chapter…so, thanks to those who wanted it continued :))**

Eternity and Forever

_Damn the man! _ I fumed to myself as I paced the very wide living room of the new house Dawn and I bought. _It's always his pride! Damn! I give up! _I sat down the nearest sofa and stared at something that wasn't there, but as soon as I side-glanced at a frame on the table, my gaze rested on that image.

I continued staring and just realized that I was now holding it in my hands and staring at it and I noticed how my knuckles turned pale white due to my tight grip on the frame as if it was my life line, and by letting it go, I'd die in the very first second.

It was a picture of me and Sylphie, and as I continued staring at it, behind Sylphie, at the very wide space behind her, there would always be a vivid image of Spike lurking there, which caused tears to stream down my cheeks once again.

I placed the frame on my lap and flipped it down, so our picture was obviously staring at my lap, and wiped the tears with the sleeve of my jacket.

"Is anything wrong?" a voice broke in into my very solemn moment, and a few more seconds later, I felt the hand of my daughter above mine and felt how she gripped my hand, obviously trying to think of ways to comfort me, but couldn't come up with one.

I smiled inwardly and looked up at my daughter's teary blue eyes and opened my arms to her and drew her close and I began stroking her pale hair. "It's fine, honey. Mommy's fine. I'm just remembering…something."

"Is that something very importn't that it made you cry, mommy?" she asked, her voice muffled through my clothes. I kissed the top of her head and rested my chin there. "Yes, sweetie. Very important that it makes me think that I'm such a masochist."

Sylphie raised her head up and stared at me as tears continued to roll down her cheeks as well. "What's a masochist, mommy?" I gaped at her and then recovered just as immediately to kiss her forehead. "A masochist, sweetie, is one who enjoys pain." She opened her mouth and protested, "That's not true!" she cried out. "Mommy's not a masochist! She's very kind and loving. A masochist isn't like that, mommy. So, never say that you're one, because you aren't mommy."

I smiled at my daughter's logic and placed my hand atop her head and ruffled her hair. "You're right, sweetie. I'm sorry." She looked up at me with that look that said she still doesn't believe me, making me smile even more. "Alright then, mommy won't say that she's a masochist anymore, if," I looked at her hand and said, "you give me some of your cookies." That made her look at her hand and giggle. "Right." She said and handed me some of her cookies. "I fo'got 'bout these cookies," she looked up at me and smiled. "You can have as many as you like, because they're yours anyway." She sighed once she saw my surprised look about the cookies. "Aunt Willow baked them for you and asked me to hand it to you because she said something's making you 'pset and lock yourself somewhere, so she asked me to give it to you."

I stared at Sylphie and then smiled again and kissed her forehead. "Honey, could you go call your aunt Willow for me?" she jumped off my lap and nodded eagerly. "Okay." And skipped out of the living room.

I laughed to myself as she skipped out of the room and began to hum to herself, but when she was finally gone, a frown came out again. _I blame Spike for my stupid foolishness! Why doesn't he just let of that stupid pride of his and believe that Sylphie is his daughter! Stupid Spike! I hate you! I-I…don't hate you…Damn it! _

"Buffy?" I heard Willow's faint voice from the door breaking me out from my stupidity once again. I looked up and saw her holding Sylphie in her arms. I raised the plate of cookies and smiled, "Thanks for making these, Wil. I'm happy that you were considerate enough to make me this while I was wallowing." I laughed a humorless laugh.

Willow shrugged and came over to sit beside me. "Want to…talk about it?" she asked, her expression turned serious so suddenly which surprised me. I stared at her and then glanced at Sylphie, and Willow immediately got the message, and then she turned to Sylphera and ruffled her hair. "Sweetie, why don't you go to your uncle Xander and see what he's up to?" Sylphera suddenly beamed and slid off Willow's lap. "Okay then." She came over to me and kissed me on the cheek and said, "I'll see you later, mommy." And with that, she was gone from the living room.

"So, what's up?" she asked once Sylphie was gone.

I looked at the frame once again and said without looking at Willow. "I've seen…Spike." I immediately felt Willow's hand on my shoulder. "Seen?" she gaped. "Seen as in seen alive?" I smiled faintly and slowly shook my head. "I've seen him in my dreams." I began. "It's like…he's trying to make me feel him. It's like…" I thought of the right word. "Something's going to happen to him. Because if there wasn't, he should've began showing himself to me for the past five years, but none. There wasn't any contact." I paused. "But look now, he's trying to talk to me. He's trying to tell me something, I just know it."

"We'll figure it out then." Willow answered as tears began to flow again. "I h-have to t-talk to him, Wi-Willow." I stammered. "What if something's going to happen to him?" at least I managed to choke that out. "We have to help him." Tears kept on flowing even though I tried to stop each one of them, but I couldn't stop all of them and they continued to flow down. What if there really was something happening to Spike? _Oh god…_ I sobbed to myself.

"Actually," Willow said, breaking through my thoughts, "I came across this spell that enables you to talk to them, and even touch them. At least if we do that, we will be given enough time in order for you to talk to Spike. Is that spell alright?" I looked at Willow and nodded. "As long as I am able to talk to Spike and know if there is something wrong, and if there is one, Willow, we will have to resurrect him."

She stared at me as if I was mad. "Buffy," she sighed out, holding my hand in between hers. "how could we do that? Spike _burned _to death. He's _ashes _now. We can never resurrect a vampire, you know that."

I suddenly began to cry eve more. I knew that. I _knew _that. I knew that a vampire could never be resurrected, but I…I love Spike so much that I just can't let him go. I do know that he is no longer with us, but I feel him everywhere, and now, I can't even think what I would feel if I can no longer feel him with us…with me and our daughter. I have to find a way to be able to help him.

I looked up at Willow and I saw a reflection of my desperation to bring Spike back in her eyes. She sighed and said. "Never mind what I said, Buffy. In fact, I managed to come across a spell that can _bring _a _vampire _back to life. But, this spell is very delicate, and there is an ingredient that is essential to this spell." She stared at our fire place and then back at me. "Which is?" I breathed out; completely exhilarated to know that there _is _a way to bring Spike back.

"We need a few of his ashes…" she answered and I stared, but then sighed, and that was then that I realized I was holding my breath.

"His ashes?" I asked, and then she nodded her answer, and that was when I opened the first button of my blouse and took out a bottle-like necklace, which contained, she obviously knew, ashes. She pointed at it and gaped, "Is that…?" she couldn't continue, and I knew why, so I simply nodded and looked at it. "Yes," I began. "I took a little from the urn before we threw his ashes by the sea. I just couldn't part with it. I wanted to at least have a little of him for me and—"

"What about your daughter?" she snapped at me. "Isn't she a _little _part of what Spike left?" She massaged her temple. "The priest said that you should've placed all, _all, _of Spike's ashes in the urn, but you disobeyed him."

I looked down at my clenched fist on my lap, feeling ashamed right now. What she said was true. I really didn't need the ashes because Spike left a big thing for me, Sylphera, but I couldn't bear to have all his ashes disappear, so I had to take a few, for keepsakes.

"I know what I did was wrong, Wil. But I really needed something of him to remind me that he was there and protected us, from all those Ubervamps…" I suddenly shuddered, remembering that herd of vampires that attacked us, and if Spike wasn't there, we could've all died.

I remembered the moment I held his hand and then that very hand began to burn, and I remembered the time when I said 'I love you' to him, and didn't believe me…

"Alright! Alright!" she said then, obviously her patience was thinning already. "Give them to me so that once you have talked to him, the ritual for his resurrection will immediately commence." I nodded and took the necklace from my neck and handed it to her.

Willow then stood up and went to the shelf where most of her ingredients were displayed on, and took a book and a bottle with red powder in it, and then took four candles as well, and then she moved the table and placed it in a corner so that the center of the living room was finally empty, and then she opened the bottle and poured it out, forming a shape of a square in the carpet, and then after that, she placed each candle on each corner and then opened the book and began chanting foreign words and began lighting each candle.

Once that was finished, she looked at me, nodded and then asked me to sit in the center of the square, so I did and turned to her. She looked at me with a serious look on her face and asked "Do you truly love Spike, Buffy? Despite your protests about it not being true?" she paused. "Because whatever you're going to answer to that question that will hold against it, I will not believe it, your actions for the past few days do not show how you despise or loathe Spike, Buffy, what you have shown is quite the opposite, and you know that."

I was caught off guard by that question, but I knew I couldn't lie to Willow, and the answer was pretty obvious because of my actions as well, so I nodded and said. "I do. With my whole life." She nodded back and said. "and how long, do you think, will your love last for him?"

Now I gaped at that question. Wow. That was one serious question, but I had to answer it, "Eternity and forever."

She smiled at my rely and said "Good answer, Buffy." And with that, her eyes turned white and I was enveloped in white, and the last thing I remember seeing was the face of my daughter, by the door, with that look of total fear.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N: Yeah, now the third chapter is up, but this time, the story revolves around Sylphera, who now holds the knowledge about what her real father is and where he is… please review :)) sorry for the late update xD xD**

Angel's Visit

I looked at that hole of a light as I saw it swallow my mommy in it and I was just about to run to her, but my legs wouldn't move and I felt my throat going numb because of what I managed to overhear a while ago.

A vampire. My so called father is a _vampire, _and he happens to be dead right now, and that is why mommy was swallowed in that light; she was on her way to save my daddy.

I didn't know what else to do, but stare at my mommy with utter fear, not really sure of what to feel right now, now that I know my daddy is a vampire, and he's dead as well, and aunt Willow was going to help mommy bring daddy back to life.

On impulse, I turned from the doorway and ran to the kitchen, where I knew uncle Xander was waiting for me, because I asked him if he wanted mommy and aunt Willow with him as he eats his snacks.

"Uncle Xander," I breathed out, tired from running that long hallway and climbing up the high chair, where I was usually seated, so I could talk to uncle Xander. He was staring at me as I sat down and looked at him. "Is it true my daddy is a vampire? And that he is dead, too?" I bluntly asked, couldn't hold the fear that I was feeling anymore.

He stared at me, stupefied, for a while, but recovered just as fast, and he braced his whole weight on his arms that were resting on the table. "Where did you hear that, pumpkin?" he asked, handing me a cool glass of orange juice. I gladly gulped down a few and said to him, "Mommy and aunt Willow said so. I overheard them talking when I was going to invite them for snack with you, and then mommy is on her way to talk to daddy." I quieted for a while and looked at him as he stared at me. "Your mo—Buffy is on her way to see Spike?" he finally exclaimed, and I nodded in reply.

"Spike?" I asked then, "That is my daddy's name?" he answered back with a nod and then laughed a little when I made a disgusted sound. "What kind of name is that? I have a friend in the nursery, and her dog's name is Spike." I laughed. "Is my daddy a dog, uncle Xander?" and that was when he burst out laughing, and then held my hand as he continued to laugh. "No, pumpkin." He snickered. "Your father is not a dog, pumpkin." He began. "He stands on two legs, Phera. A person—an animal that could stand on two legs, aren't dogs." Then his face suddenly turned serious. "Well, actually, your father was a big pain in the ass, but he was very useful until the end, when he…" his expression turned kinder. "your father sacrificed himself, in order to save the world, and then a few weeks from that day, we learned that your mother was pregnant, because she was so moody right after he died. First, she will go mad, and then later she'll be laughing at you, and then next she'll be bored or either stressed.

We went to the doctor to have her be checked up on, and then doctors said that it's serious. He asked us what happened; what triggered her emotional stress like that, and we just said someone she knew died, and then he said that we should really be careful where your mother is concerned, because if she'll undergo more, she would break down eventually, and then seven months came, and we were surprised you were still alive inside her. The doctor said that there might be a point where you'll die in her womb, and we were gladly surprised you came out normally." He sighed. "Thank god for that."

"What happened next?" I asked eagerly, making him laugh. "Hmm, why don't we start from the beginning; why your mother was actually fighting, and why your father died fighting for her." And I nodded in agreement.

"Well, your mother was fifteen when it all began, she was a girl in high school, when a man appea—"and then a knock came from the door, breaking the excitement I felt in listening to my mommy's life story.

"Now who could that be in the middle of the night?" I heard uncle Xander mutter under his breath, but then he stood up and went to the door. I had nothing to do, so I went to follow him to the door.

Uncle opened door and there was a brooding figure outside our door. He had sandy brown hair, and he was wearing this huge coat.

"Xander." Then man outside said with a somewhat ominous aura, causing a shiver run down my spine.

"Angel," uncle Xander obviously tried to say. "what brings you here from L.A.?" he asked as he motioned the man named 'Angel' inside the house, and then in the living room.

The man looked at me as I followed uncle Xander and sat down on a sofa, and then he looked at uncle and frowned. "What the hell is Buffy up to now? I heard from the council that she was trying to do something stupid, though she just thought of it now. But it was reported that she and Willow were up to something stupid and called me immediately." He sighed and obviously exasperated sigh, "So, what is Buffy doing stupid now?"

I felt anger boil up in me as he continued to bad-mouth my mother.

"Well," my uncle stuttered. "she, um…" he was looking for words; it seemed to me, that would obviously not make the other man upset.

"She did something idiotic again, didn't she?" he finally snapped back at him, which made my blood boil even higher. "She is causing trouble once again!" he sighed. "What the heck does she think she's doing? She's the slayer. For goodness' sake! Yet she is doing all these stupid things?"

"Stop bad mouthing my mommy, you big jerk!" I lost it. He was too irritating, and how dare he bad-mouth my mother when she's not even here. My mommy used to tell me that bad-mouthing people behind their backs is bad, so, most of the time; I avoided enemies, even in nursery, to prevent people from bad-mouthing me.

That outburst of mine took his attention because he was now looking directly at me. "Mother?" he asked curtly, and then he turned back to uncle Xander. "What is this kid talking about?" uncle Xander looked warily at me, and then seriously back at the now outraged man standing just below the opening to the living room. "Well," he began. "you've seen her, so there really is no point in keeping her now, is there?" he looked at me again and held out his hand, which I took, and his big hand enclosed my smaller one. "Angel, meet Sylphera," he said and looked at 'Angel.' "Buffy's daughter."

He gaped. "Daughter?" he exclaimed as uncle nodded. "Yes," he replied. "her daughter of four years."

Uncle Xander then bent down and carried me in his arms and made me turn to Angel. "Phera, this is Angel, your mother's…friend." He introduced.

"Then who's the father?" Angel asked my uncle and looked at him, and boy, did I not like that look on his face as he fixed his gaze on uncle Xander like he was some guilty person. "Who's the father?" her repeated.

"He…" uncle began. "um, the father is…hell!" he yelled this time. "The father is Spike, Angel. _Spike. _As in the man who tried to kill her a lot of times, and then became the man who took care of her, when you," he pointed at Angel's chest. "abandoned her. The very man who despised her, and now, even until death, haunts the living daylights out of her. The man who comforted her when you dumped her, tarnished her, and broke her heart. The very man _you _can _never _be, Angel." He paused when he saw Angel bring up a protest and raised a hand to silence him. "And don't you dear deny that fact, Angel. Because Spike was here to comfort her while you were out there doing…stuff."

"Spike's the father?" Angel said, as if he wasn't really listening to facts uncle Xander stated, and concentrated on the fact that 'Spike' is my father.

"That's right." I said proudly, making both heads turn to me. "Spike is my father…whoever he is." I didn't know why that came out of my mouth.

"She never met Spike?" Angel asked, looking dumb-founded at uncle Xander.

_Wow. _Those four words managed to piss me off.

But uncle Xander unleashed that anger for me. "What the hell do you think?" he stated. "Sylpehera, Phera, was born seven months after Spike died. So, how do you think the two would meet? Spirits? Magic? Oh, come on Angel! You're, what, two hundred something years old. What would you think about dying? Then you go off to visit your loved ones, and see a new life with them. What will you think? 'Who is that kid?' Would be your first question, Angel. Not, who is the father of the kid?" he sighed another exasperated sigh. "Use your head and think Angel." And with that said and done, uncle Xander left the living room.

"You're wrong." I heard Angel mutter to himself, making me turn to him.

"What did you say?" I asked, his head shooting up and looking straight at me. He sighed at me and looked up at the ceiling. "I know how it feels," he began. "dying." He shrugged at me.

He patted the space next to him, indicating me to sit down. So, I did.

"Eight years ago," he paused with a sigh. "I reverted to my evil side once your mother and I…well, let's leave that part out, so, me and your mother had to fight. But whenever we didn't get the chance to, I pretended, to the others who didn't know that I was evil, to be good, to get them to my good side, but Buffy finally told them that I wasn't anymore. However, there was a time where I met Giles and he told me about the portal and how to open it as well, so that became my main goal." His brows furrowed. "and yadda, yadda, yadda. Then your mother was able to find me where I began the ritual for opening the portal, but she was able to delay me, however, as we began fighting, unknown to us, the portal slowly begun to open, and by the end of the fight, when we down to our last clash of swords, there was this very hot feeling inside me." He swallowed. "Which happened to be my soul, so as that happened, we stopped, but Buffy noticed something, which happened to be the portal growing bigger by the minute, and then she was suddenly deep in thought, and then came up with a decision." He stopped. "She looked at me tearfully and smiled sadly and said 'I love you' to me and stabbed me with her sword. I looked at the piercing sword and –"

"That's awful." I commented as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "So that's why mommy doesn't have a man in her life." I stated. "She kills them."

That obviously didn't come out right because I could hear Angel snickering. "What is it?" I pouted at him. "It's not that," he said, trying to stop his laughs from coming out. "Your mother didn't kill me because she wanted to. She killed me because she had to. It was her priority. She is good, I am evil. That's the way it is."

"Did you know my daddy?" I blurted out, surprising even myself when I saw a weird expression in his face. "Yeah," he said. "I knew him. He was sort f like a…retainer for me." He looked at me. "You even have most of his features than your mother. You have his hair color, as well as his blue eyes, even that british accent of his, and you have your mother's, hmm…well, you have her looks, but I can't really tell which part it is." Then he laughed.

I pouted at his comment, because, well, the fact that he was the _former _boyfriend, and he couldn't even tell a comparison between me and my mother.

"Stupid." I said before he exclaimed the "What?"

…

"Willow," Angel said curtly. "what kind of stupidity did you and Buffy enter in once again? The council immediately found out about your idea as soon as you even thought about it, and then reported it to me immediately in order for me to be able to stop you, but it seems as though I'm too late because _you're _here and I see _no _Buffy." He stared at me before he looked back at aunt Willow. "Where did you take her?"

"To Spike." Aunt said bluntly. "She was too desperate to see Spike because of those five years that they were apart, she couldn't stand anymore and had to see him for herself." She crossed her arms. "Unlike you, Spike cared for Buffy even though she couldn't return those feelings, and most of us blame you for that. She should've returned those feeilngs to Spike, but she couldn't, because _you,_" she crossed the room and pointed at Angel's chest. "were always in her heart, and she couldn't even give at least a small space for Spike in her heart. You filled her heart, and we couldn't even make her forget you because _you _were always in her freaking heart!" tears started to roll down her cheeks that she had to cover her eyes with her hands.

"Well," uncle Xander said from the door and walked up beside aunt Willow. "See that, Angel. Your mishap judgement is causing havoc here, so you better leave." He pointed at the door, making Angel stand up and began to look flustered. "But, what about Buffy?" he asked, glancing at me.

This time, aunt Willow marched up to him and stared up at his eyes. "Buffy is none of your business, Angel." She glared. "None. She is _our _business, so you better leave now before I do anything to you."

"But—"

"But nothing." She went to the door and opened it. "Get out!"

Angel glanced at each one of us. "Buffy…"

"Out!" she repeated.

This time, he left and didn't cast a backward glance at each one of us, but when he left, I saw his concern for my mother in my eyes, so I felt sorry for him.


End file.
